Remember the old saying, sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me? Well, that was always confusing to me as a child. I understood the first part, sure, with a little force, sticks and stones could break my bones but the bit about words never hurting me? Nah, words always hurt me-the bad ones anyway. The bad words stung and stuck with me for a little while.
My point is, words matter. They make a difference and have the power to build us up or tear us down, to bring happiness or sadness into our lives. Their meaning defines perception that shape our beliefs, mould our behaviours and ultimately create how we perceive the world and our place in it.
Particularly so for children. Their young minds thrive in a positive environment and the power of just a few constructive and optimistic words can really encourage a child to persevere and create an ‘I-can’ attitude. During lockdown, as a parent to two young children and subsequent homeschooling, I saw firsthand how much of a positive impact the following motivating phrases had:
- I’m so lucky to be your parent
- Being your parent is the best job in the world
- I love teaching you things and I love learning things from you
- You have such a beautiful heart
- You can go anywhere in the world with your imagination
- Don’t compare yourself to other people, someone as unique as you is beyond compare
- No one else in this world has the same imagination as you
- Your name is the most precious thing you own- it’s who you are
- There is only one you in the world
- We all make mistakes, mistakes should be celebrated because we learn from them
- It’s okay to have a bad day. We have bad days so we know what the good ones look like
- You are the greatest gift anyone could ever ask for
- I’m so proud to be your mum
- You are the strongest kid I know
- You can tell me anything, I’ll always be here
- I trust you, I just don’t trust others
- You’re not on your own with a problem, we can figure it out together
- I’ll always be on your team
- All I ask is that you try your absolute best
- You can be anything you want to be
- I can see you’re really trying
- I make mistakes even at my age
- Apologising is saying the right thing after saying or doing the wrong thing
- A good attitude can make all the difference
- I love you more than all the blades of grass on the land, more than every drop of water in the ocean, more than all the grains of sand on the beach, and all the stars in the sky
- Don’t change who you are for anyone. If they don’t like you for you, that’s their loss
- Not everyone has the same heart as you so don’t be disappointed if you don’t get treated in the same way you treat someone
- If someone tells you can’t do something, it doesn’t mean you can’t do it.
- Don’t ever be afraid to ask for help
- Mistakes are proof you’ve tried
- I believe in you
- You are so incredibly precious
- You are so loved
- Trust your instincts
- Be a shepherd, not a sheep
- It’s good to have emotions, but don’t let them take over you
- You make my heart sing with the love I have for you
- Don’t give up easily, nothing worth having comes easy
- I love hearing how passionate you are about something
- If anyone is horrible to you, don’t get mad, don’t get even, don’t stoop to their level. Rise above it
- Thanks for making today so special
- Always be grateful for what you have, not grumpy for what you want
- Practice makes progress.
- Spending time with you is the best part of my day
Personally speaking, I find that focusing on my children’s strengths and qualities has the real potential to boost their self-esteem, mood, and how they feel about themselves and their place in the world. Author Karen Salmansohn summed it up beautifully and brilliantly when she said: “True happiness isn’t about the things you have; it’s about the thoughts you have. That’s why it’s called positive thinking and not positive thing-ing.”
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