Why listening is more & talking is less

I’ve made a promise to myself. I’ve promised to talk less and listen more. You see, communicating isn’t just about talking, it’s about listening too and in fact it’s the listening that is of most significance.

Because if we don’t listen- intently listen, then we lose our ability to effectively communicate, we become frustrated, we are not consciously acknowledging what is being said or what we are being told. To listen is something humans naturally do, but to listen-to really listen, is a skill that can be developed and mastered over time.

Like talking and expressing how we feel, effective listening is also a skill that fosters all positive human relationships. 

So how can we talk less and listen more? I guess for me the answer to that question would be to listen more to the answers of the questions I’ve asked. I’m always too eager to jump in and put in my two pennies’ worth. I do this because I get lost in my own head and I want to help by giving advice as soon as it pops into my mind but now I think that’s not helping at all.

Surely the most helpful thing I could do is to tune in-to sit back, shut up and let that person open up and explain their thoughts and feelings so they really feel heard. 

To feel heard is damn liberating. In the past, when I’ve wanted to speak about how I am feeling, sometimes I’ve wanted just that- to speak and for someone to listen, no advice, no thoughts or opinions- just to be my sounding board.

There will be time to share what we have to say once someone has spoken but it’s incredibly vital that we let them speak-let them get it all out, and do so with no interruption and our full attention. 

So the next time someone opens up to talk, I’ll let them do just that and in return I will listen, I will learn and together we will communicate in powerful synchronicity. 


  1. I’m working on this as well. excellent post and thanks for following me. I’m doing the same with yours now that I’ve found it – beth


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