Disappointment. It’s something you’re familiar dealing with when you’re a kid. Didn’t get the toy you wanted for Christmas, didn’t get to eat ice cream before dinner, didn’t get picked for the netball team. It was a feeling I got pretty used to when I was younger.
Even as a teenager, disappointments were a regular occurrence then too. Couldn’t meet with friends, didn’t get the marks I hoped for, liked a boy who didn’t like me back. We’ve all been there, disappointments are a way of life.
So if that’s the case, if I’ve had my fair share of disappointments as well as knowing they are unavoidable, then why am I finding how to cope with this disappointment so difficult? Am I out of practice? Has it been awhile since I was last disappointed? Maybe. Or maybe it’s a different type of disappointment.
Now that I am older, I’ve learnt that how we cope with disappointments can be a defining moment in our lives. It’s how we respond to this disappointment that matters. Just as I did as a child, many disappointments can be worked through quite easily. This meant taking stock and learning something from the experience the more complex they became the older I got.
So how have I dealt with this disappointment so far? Well, I’ve stopped relying on my emotional needs in the situation. It’s not been easy but it’s been better than the wild goose chase I was previously on. There’s likely to be less disappointment this way too and so far, it’s worked out okay.
I’ve also thought a lot about my expectations and whether or not I’ve been expecting too much- in short, the answer is no and this is something I have questioned time and time again in case I got it wrong but the answer still remains the same. I actually think this makes this disappointment worse.
I think I’m finding this disappointment hard to deal with because unlike other disappointments I have experienced before, I feel like this one is very much out of my hands.
Someone once said that expectation is the root of all heartache. It acknowledges that when we experience disappointment, our hopes and expectations are out of line with reality. Some of these disappointments will not make much of a difference, but there are also disappointments that can change the course of our lives.
Maybe this is one of them.